"My name is Erica and I am a Foodaholic."
I don't remember my childhood (pre-puberty) very well, but from what I can see in all of my pictures, I was a skinny toothpick of a kid. So, How did I end up being 225.8 lbs by the time I was 30???
I started puberty, in reality in about the 3rd grade when I had to start wearing a bra, and then by 5th grade, I was getting chunky and got my first visit from every woman's most hated Aunt Flo.
It was also in 5th grade that I started having some blood sugar issues (hmmm...crazy hormones, weight gain, and blood sugar issues? Someone should have put me on a diet!) Every 3-4 hours in the 5th grade, I would eat. I was allowed some cheese and crackers and a juice box. Do you have any idea how much fat is in cheese and how much sugar is in a juice box?
5th grade was also the year I went from being "4 eyes" to "MOOOOO". This does some really bad things to the self esteem. I had one girl torture me so bad, she went to the extreme of looking in my ears one day to see if they were clean or not?! She was a bully!
Jr. High, wasn't any better, I gained more weight, I ate, a lot! I ate a lot of pre-packaged food, ice cream, cheese, pizza, bakery items, etc... I did play basketball, which should of helped, but I think it just helped me to maintain my fatness, since I stayed the same size through jr. high. I had some boyfriends, but girls were still mean and looked at me and snickered, especially in the locker room.
I tried other things, like not eating or throwing up what I ate, but it never became to much of a "problem" since I liked food to much to give it up or let it go to waste.
By the 9th grade, I played basketball and volleyball. This was the one time in my life that I lost weight and felt okay. I think I was around a size 12/14 then and people still called me fat. (Kids are so mean!) My sophmore year of high school consisted of my first long term boyfriend (who I'm ashamed to say was a drug addict and ended up being my frist husband). I played Volleyball for a while, but quit to spend "time" with him. I gained all of my weight back. I also started dressing like a "skater", you know, big baggy jeans, flat skateboard shoes (Skechers), flannel shirts over big t-shirts. This allowed me to gain a lot of weight and not even notice it! I maintained around a size 16 through high school and gained more weight my first year of college. I got the "Freshman 30"! From here I got married and pregnant.
I was 180 lbs when I got pregnant, wearing a size 16/18. I only gained 20 lbs while I was pregnant, but since my angel was born sick, I spent ALOT of time not trying to loose the baby weight and just sitting in her hospital room eating hospital cafeteria food. I gained probably about 20 lbs while she was alive. This brings me to 200 lbs!
I maintained pretty good at that point, and then I met the love of my life. He is a lover of food as well and an amazing cook! We ate good food often and alot of it. In early 2007, I decided I was too fat, and one day was going to marry this guy, so I should do something about it. I stopped drinking Mt. Dew...that's it, just that, I lost 27 lbs in 3 months, not doing anything else. I continued to try to eat better, but never excercised consistently. In July of 2007, we quit smoking...so naturally, I gained about 25 lbs! YIKES! Back to about 205 lbs!
We got married in November 2008, right before that, I had an IUD inserted (literally, on my rehearsal night...ugh that was a long day!) By January, I had gained 20 lbs...just from that stupid little device!
Ralph and I started our serious weight loss journey then! We started Weight Watchers. I lost about 27 lbs in like 6 months....then the holidays hit. I got off track and BAM all the weight came right back... I was now 225.8 lbs by December of 2009!
I was so ashamed of all my failures, we ate good healthy foods, I ate a lot of it, mostly bored eating, but sometimes I ate trying to "prepare" since I would get to eat much for like 6 hours, I would eat a lot, thinking it would last...I know now, that doesn't work, but I thought it did.
So...after my at least 20 year struggle with being overweight and teased and ashamed and embarrased and being told by my ex husband "your not attractive to me anymore, your fat and un sexy", and having the pregnant weight and no baby to show for it...it was time to do something serious and drastic! My next post will talk about what I have done and am doing about my weight now and how I feel about it :)
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