So...here I sit, at the library of all places on Halloween! This is not something I would have pictured myself doing at all!
I volunteered to help at the Halloween overnighter at my local library. 55 kids, ages 6-12, 5 adults, and lots of sugar!
It's been an amazing night, the kids have all been great, the program director is amazing and set up a great night!
Right now all of the kids under 11 are sleeping....so now, I'm trying to stay awake....first some FB, then some minor blogging, now onto email! Lastly will be some fun games :)
Sunday, October 31, 2010
Monday, October 18, 2010
WOW!
I am suddenly so busy! I started my new job about 3 weeks ago and I've been non-stop ever since! This is literally the first time I've been able to blog since I started, and I really don't have time now! Just know, I love life, I love my job and I fall in love with my husband more and more and over and over again every day :) Things could never be better!
Talk to you on the flip side!
Talk to you on the flip side!
Monday, September 27, 2010
Church...Week 2
So, yesterday, I attended the United Methodist Church again. It was again a great experience! This week, more people approached me, I even got a hug! I was also invited to attend the adult Sunday School in two weeks when I can go back. So far, so good :D I think I'm finding a home for me :D
Going to attend my second Life Group meeting tonight too, we shall see how that goes!
Going to attend my second Life Group meeting tonight too, we shall see how that goes!
Tuesday, September 21, 2010
New Job
WOW! Last week I interviewed for a job with a good company, it was my one and only interview with them. I have been technically unemployed (from full time work) for about 2 years.
This morning, that company called me and offered me a position with them! I am still in complete shock! I will get into the details, once I pass all the pre-employment screening.
It's starting to hit me...but not completely! My last official day (for the second time) with Nestle will be September 30, 2010, 2 years and one month exactly since they laid me off the first time ;)
This morning, that company called me and offered me a position with them! I am still in complete shock! I will get into the details, once I pass all the pre-employment screening.
It's starting to hit me...but not completely! My last official day (for the second time) with Nestle will be September 30, 2010, 2 years and one month exactly since they laid me off the first time ;)
Patience
I got a call from an employer that interviewed my last Thursday. They left a message last night to call them back. I am waiting for a call back to my message... I am struggling with my patience!
I have a lot of patience, it takes a lot to make me angry or annoy me. But right now, I am so anxious! ;)
I am very hopeful, it feels right this time....they didn't leave a Thanks but no thanks message, I could tell she was in a conference room, she asked for a call back, and a friend of mine interviewed with them about a month ago, and hasn't had a call at all...and it was with the same people.....sooooo I am crossing my fingers! I need something full time with benefits soooo bad!
okay....on to more waiting ;)
I have a lot of patience, it takes a lot to make me angry or annoy me. But right now, I am so anxious! ;)
I am very hopeful, it feels right this time....they didn't leave a Thanks but no thanks message, I could tell she was in a conference room, she asked for a call back, and a friend of mine interviewed with them about a month ago, and hasn't had a call at all...and it was with the same people.....sooooo I am crossing my fingers! I need something full time with benefits soooo bad!
okay....on to more waiting ;)
Life Group
I attended my first Life Group meeting last night at a friend's house. This is a meeting of people from her Assembly of God church. It's basically a Bible Study. I thought, first of all, maybe I'll learn something, and secondly, this kind of gives me a glimpse into the eyes of the Assembly of God, without attending the church, to see if their beliefs are even any that I agree with, and without being uncomfortable while the people of the church are acting in ways that have always kind of freaked me out.
It was a lot of fun, there were 7 of us, and we watched a video, then had discussion questions after different segments of the video. I learned a lot about the people around me, their beliefs and honestly I learned some more about the bible.
I can say that some of the beliefs I learned about last night, are not ones that I carry, simply those few things may keep me from that church, but the conversation was good, they listen, and almost all of them have gone through a journey very similar to the one I am going through. They don't even mind that I am trying out other church's :)
I think I will go to the next Life Group meeting, it was a lot of fun, and maybe they will lead me towards their church, but at this point, I don't think so. I just look forward to the conversation!
It was a lot of fun, there were 7 of us, and we watched a video, then had discussion questions after different segments of the video. I learned a lot about the people around me, their beliefs and honestly I learned some more about the bible.
I can say that some of the beliefs I learned about last night, are not ones that I carry, simply those few things may keep me from that church, but the conversation was good, they listen, and almost all of them have gone through a journey very similar to the one I am going through. They don't even mind that I am trying out other church's :)
I think I will go to the next Life Group meeting, it was a lot of fun, and maybe they will lead me towards their church, but at this point, I don't think so. I just look forward to the conversation!
Monday, September 20, 2010
Growing up....occasionally stinks
The hubs and I had to make a big decision this weekend. Do we travel with our closest friends or do we work towards starting our new family?
We absolutely LOVE traveling with our friends, they are amazing to just hang out with, shop with, travel with, or have deep discussions about 'taboo' things like religion and politics with. They are amazing, and this is why they are our friends :D We couldn't ask for better ones!
There has been talk and some planning about going on a group trip in the near future, if we could find something for the right price. I was all for it, I love the Caribbean, and warm climates, and was very excited about trying a new All-Inclusive for a change of pace.
When it came down to figuring out where the money is coming from, we started realizing that we are way over-spending across the board, on everything, from weekend trips, to buying small things like books, or clothes (even if they are all second hand clothes). We have a bad habit, that if it's on sale, it needs to be bought then...or if there is a coupon, well, we better use it. This means, that we are not paying off our credit cards, or putting money towards remodeling projects. Both of which are my requirements for bringing a baby into our family.
We know, that there will always be bills to pay, and things at the home that need fixing, we aren't saying all of those things need to happen before we have a baby, heck, I'd be 70 before we were ready then. What I am saying is that the process needs to be on the way. I refuse to put a baby in a bathtub that I am grossed out by, I refuse to put a baby in a nursery that at least once a year gets a bat in it, or that has duct tape in the closet and peeling paint, or that has a living room that needs new floors or a baby will get slivers...all of these things MUST be taken care of, before I will bring a new baby into our house. And since I would LOVE to get to baby making the first part of next year, we have a lot of things to get done right now.
Making the decision to let down our friends for this, was a hard one, but ultimately, a new son or daughter is the only thing I am focused on right now, it is the most important thing in our life and our marriage, and that is what made the decision.
It makes me sad, I would love to get one last 'fling' in Mexico in, but it will have to wait! Maybe, once we get things taken care of..or at least mostly in process, we can try again to plan a trip before baby H comes along :) We'll see and play it by ear....but to everyone we let down, I am sorry!
We absolutely LOVE traveling with our friends, they are amazing to just hang out with, shop with, travel with, or have deep discussions about 'taboo' things like religion and politics with. They are amazing, and this is why they are our friends :D We couldn't ask for better ones!
There has been talk and some planning about going on a group trip in the near future, if we could find something for the right price. I was all for it, I love the Caribbean, and warm climates, and was very excited about trying a new All-Inclusive for a change of pace.
When it came down to figuring out where the money is coming from, we started realizing that we are way over-spending across the board, on everything, from weekend trips, to buying small things like books, or clothes (even if they are all second hand clothes). We have a bad habit, that if it's on sale, it needs to be bought then...or if there is a coupon, well, we better use it. This means, that we are not paying off our credit cards, or putting money towards remodeling projects. Both of which are my requirements for bringing a baby into our family.
We know, that there will always be bills to pay, and things at the home that need fixing, we aren't saying all of those things need to happen before we have a baby, heck, I'd be 70 before we were ready then. What I am saying is that the process needs to be on the way. I refuse to put a baby in a bathtub that I am grossed out by, I refuse to put a baby in a nursery that at least once a year gets a bat in it, or that has duct tape in the closet and peeling paint, or that has a living room that needs new floors or a baby will get slivers...all of these things MUST be taken care of, before I will bring a new baby into our house. And since I would LOVE to get to baby making the first part of next year, we have a lot of things to get done right now.
Making the decision to let down our friends for this, was a hard one, but ultimately, a new son or daughter is the only thing I am focused on right now, it is the most important thing in our life and our marriage, and that is what made the decision.
It makes me sad, I would love to get one last 'fling' in Mexico in, but it will have to wait! Maybe, once we get things taken care of..or at least mostly in process, we can try again to plan a trip before baby H comes along :) We'll see and play it by ear....but to everyone we let down, I am sorry!
My first day back at church....
So, this week it was my goal to try one new church. To go in with an open mind and just enjoy it.
I decided to attend White Cloud United Methodist Church. It happens to be about 2 blocks from my house, and I grew up United Methodist, so it wasn't to far out of the box for me (Ha...I just realized some irony, I'll get to later!)
I was nervous about going to a new church, especially alone, but I decided I need to try something on my own, before trying church's that my friends attend. It was an interesting experience to me.
Upon entering the church, there were two greeters who both stopped to shake my hand and make casual conversation, they were friendly and welcoming. At the next door I was met by a family who was passing out the bulletin. Each of the 5 kids shook my hand and said "Good Morning". Wow...impressed! :) Next, I go find a seat, I had arrived for the 9:30 Praise Gathering, because I was curious what this was all about, but the worship service didn't start until 9:45. I was impressed with the inside of the church, it's a remodel, but I know it happened before I came to town, so it's at least 7 years old. It has a gorgeous cross shaped stained glass window (which has a creepy eye staring at you at the very top), a nice raised platform/stage area, that had a drum set and a couple of electric guitars, the altar and pulpit, and a Fishing Boat sitting among some rocks with a giant flag sticking out of it that said 'Fearless' on it. Huh....I was intrigued. I was looking for something like this, something old fashioned in belief, but more contemporary in the services. I want something my future child will enjoy.
The praise gathering was 15 minutes of singing, basically you shout out your favorite song and hymn number, and we sang it. It was fun, but I like singing hymn's :)
During announcements, I learn that Sunday School is starting again for the fall, and that the local public school's superintendent runs the Sunday School program, (well at least he knows a little about education!), I also learn there is an active Youth Group that does trips and fund raisers. There will be a mission trip in 2011 to Appalachia, there are conferences coming up in Grand Rapids, that all are invited too, they get in guest speakers, and finally I learn that the church is in a transition phase, they are moving from 'Ol School to Contemporary...even better! I'm not thrown into a major shock, but can gradually move into it. So far, I'm impressed, this church has what I am looking for.
Next, the pastor welcomes all the visitors, he explains the church's mission, he invites you to enjoy the service, and if you are looking for a new church family, he will talk with you and answer any questions, etc....
Next on the agenda.....a 10ish minute "Friendship gathering". Now every other UMC church I have been to, you greet your neighbor, but you do it for like a minute, and it's just the people that you can reach from your seat. Not here, everyone is wandering around and hugging and chatting (and gossiping...hehe, at church, that cracks me up, but hey...it happens). During this time, I am approached by no less than 30 people...I repeat 30! Only one recognized me, otherwise, they were introducing themselves, asking how I was, welcoming me, etc. It was amazing! Nothing I expected at all!
The Worship service starts and the pastor is getting into it! By the end of the sermon, he is sweating! He was running around the stage, he was coming up and down the aisles, he was very energetic and very much so believed every single word he spoke, at least, that was the impression I got! His sermon was on "Taking Jesus out of the box" (which is where the irony comes in, this church was a little out of the box for me...and that is the message I got :)) He actually had found a Jesus Action Figure, called 'My Jesus'. I mean, really, who on earth made that toy? But the story was that we, people, make Jesus fit into how we want to act and how we want him to fit into our lives, when it's convenient for us. We keep him in a box, most of the time. When we want to feel all "Godly" and religious, we let him out of the box, but only until we want to be ourselves again. The message is simply, live each day the way Jesus would want you to, not just when it's convenient to you. It was a good message, I, for the first time in 15 some years, understood it, it hit home. No less than 3 times during the entire service did I have tears running down my face.
The service ended with everyone holding hands and singing 'This little light of mine'. I love that song from my childhood. I then realize, we had to all hold hands, I started to move towards the aisle to reach for the hand of the gentleman across the way, he looked at me with big eyes, smiled, grasped my hand and nodded at me while squeezing my hand. To me, that was a welcoming move, it meant a lot, it told me that he would be there to support and help me along my journey, even if all that meant, was to see me at church. It was a nice feeling that I have not had at a church in more than a decade!
On my way out, I saw the Pastor at the door, he realized I was a visitor and he took an extra second to welcome me, ask me how I was, if I enjoyed the service and to wish me a blessed day.
I left that church with a smile on my face, and a new attitude. I could see myself and my children going to this church for a long time. It was exactly what I wanted and what I needed.
At this point, I am very undecided if I need to try other churches. For now, I'll be back there next week, and probably through Ocotober, and see how I feel then. I'll blog each week about it, and then I can go back and re-read my thoughts and feelings and see what, if anything, has changed. At that point, I should be able to decide, if it's time to move on, or if I feel like I am in a good place!
I just feel so great about it!
I decided to attend White Cloud United Methodist Church. It happens to be about 2 blocks from my house, and I grew up United Methodist, so it wasn't to far out of the box for me (Ha...I just realized some irony, I'll get to later!)
I was nervous about going to a new church, especially alone, but I decided I need to try something on my own, before trying church's that my friends attend. It was an interesting experience to me.
Upon entering the church, there were two greeters who both stopped to shake my hand and make casual conversation, they were friendly and welcoming. At the next door I was met by a family who was passing out the bulletin. Each of the 5 kids shook my hand and said "Good Morning". Wow...impressed! :) Next, I go find a seat, I had arrived for the 9:30 Praise Gathering, because I was curious what this was all about, but the worship service didn't start until 9:45. I was impressed with the inside of the church, it's a remodel, but I know it happened before I came to town, so it's at least 7 years old. It has a gorgeous cross shaped stained glass window (which has a creepy eye staring at you at the very top), a nice raised platform/stage area, that had a drum set and a couple of electric guitars, the altar and pulpit, and a Fishing Boat sitting among some rocks with a giant flag sticking out of it that said 'Fearless' on it. Huh....I was intrigued. I was looking for something like this, something old fashioned in belief, but more contemporary in the services. I want something my future child will enjoy.
The praise gathering was 15 minutes of singing, basically you shout out your favorite song and hymn number, and we sang it. It was fun, but I like singing hymn's :)
During announcements, I learn that Sunday School is starting again for the fall, and that the local public school's superintendent runs the Sunday School program, (well at least he knows a little about education!), I also learn there is an active Youth Group that does trips and fund raisers. There will be a mission trip in 2011 to Appalachia, there are conferences coming up in Grand Rapids, that all are invited too, they get in guest speakers, and finally I learn that the church is in a transition phase, they are moving from 'Ol School to Contemporary...even better! I'm not thrown into a major shock, but can gradually move into it. So far, I'm impressed, this church has what I am looking for.
Next, the pastor welcomes all the visitors, he explains the church's mission, he invites you to enjoy the service, and if you are looking for a new church family, he will talk with you and answer any questions, etc....
Next on the agenda.....a 10ish minute "Friendship gathering". Now every other UMC church I have been to, you greet your neighbor, but you do it for like a minute, and it's just the people that you can reach from your seat. Not here, everyone is wandering around and hugging and chatting (and gossiping...hehe, at church, that cracks me up, but hey...it happens). During this time, I am approached by no less than 30 people...I repeat 30! Only one recognized me, otherwise, they were introducing themselves, asking how I was, welcoming me, etc. It was amazing! Nothing I expected at all!
The Worship service starts and the pastor is getting into it! By the end of the sermon, he is sweating! He was running around the stage, he was coming up and down the aisles, he was very energetic and very much so believed every single word he spoke, at least, that was the impression I got! His sermon was on "Taking Jesus out of the box" (which is where the irony comes in, this church was a little out of the box for me...and that is the message I got :)) He actually had found a Jesus Action Figure, called 'My Jesus'. I mean, really, who on earth made that toy? But the story was that we, people, make Jesus fit into how we want to act and how we want him to fit into our lives, when it's convenient for us. We keep him in a box, most of the time. When we want to feel all "Godly" and religious, we let him out of the box, but only until we want to be ourselves again. The message is simply, live each day the way Jesus would want you to, not just when it's convenient to you. It was a good message, I, for the first time in 15 some years, understood it, it hit home. No less than 3 times during the entire service did I have tears running down my face.
The service ended with everyone holding hands and singing 'This little light of mine'. I love that song from my childhood. I then realize, we had to all hold hands, I started to move towards the aisle to reach for the hand of the gentleman across the way, he looked at me with big eyes, smiled, grasped my hand and nodded at me while squeezing my hand. To me, that was a welcoming move, it meant a lot, it told me that he would be there to support and help me along my journey, even if all that meant, was to see me at church. It was a nice feeling that I have not had at a church in more than a decade!
On my way out, I saw the Pastor at the door, he realized I was a visitor and he took an extra second to welcome me, ask me how I was, if I enjoyed the service and to wish me a blessed day.
I left that church with a smile on my face, and a new attitude. I could see myself and my children going to this church for a long time. It was exactly what I wanted and what I needed.
At this point, I am very undecided if I need to try other churches. For now, I'll be back there next week, and probably through Ocotober, and see how I feel then. I'll blog each week about it, and then I can go back and re-read my thoughts and feelings and see what, if anything, has changed. At that point, I should be able to decide, if it's time to move on, or if I feel like I am in a good place!
I just feel so great about it!
Thursday, September 16, 2010
Tuesday, September 14, 2010
Volleyball
So...I'm bummed, I was asked to just be a sub for volleyball instead of a full time player. So, I declined being on the team. The captain told me she may still call me for a sub, but I probably won't play.
On the other hand! I may start a team for next year! :)
On the other hand! I may start a team for next year! :)
Monday, September 13, 2010
Who knew that when jumping into an old sport....you shouldn't jump so high!
I had the opportunity to join a Volleyball league recently and I jumped all over it! Since I am feeling great (health wise), and my fitness level is very much improved, I decided it would be great excercise, a lot of fun, and a great way to meet new people and keep in touch with old friends.
Our first scrimmage was yesterday. We played 3 games, which ran about an hour each, give or take a few minutes if we got our rear's handed to us during any set. It was an amazing workout, and a major refresher course! WOW! Luckily, I think I am better at it now than I was back in highschool, although, I'm no expert ;) Today, my arms are bruised from my knuckles to my Biceps...they hurt! That's normal and it will get better as time goes on, but ouchy!
I also learned that some people are just too dang competitive! In my opinion an adult league is about having fun and getting some excercise. Sure, everyone wants to win, and we will bust our tails to try to win, but sometimes, it's okay if you don't win. You certainly don't have to 'dog' on your team mates because you don't think they are as good as you want them to be. Nor, do you have to be a complete ball hog and not let anyone play and continuously say "oh, I didn't think you would get that one." Luckily, I have a high tolerance for stupidity and cruelty, so I ignored her...and actually made a point of saying things like "good try" when she screwed up, and "good job" when she did good. Maybe if I can act like an adult towards her, she will act like an adult back....but it's unlikely.
Anyway, Volleyball was a TON of fun, and I can't wait to go back for more! I totally wish that we played more than on Sunday!
Our first scrimmage was yesterday. We played 3 games, which ran about an hour each, give or take a few minutes if we got our rear's handed to us during any set. It was an amazing workout, and a major refresher course! WOW! Luckily, I think I am better at it now than I was back in highschool, although, I'm no expert ;) Today, my arms are bruised from my knuckles to my Biceps...they hurt! That's normal and it will get better as time goes on, but ouchy!
I also learned that some people are just too dang competitive! In my opinion an adult league is about having fun and getting some excercise. Sure, everyone wants to win, and we will bust our tails to try to win, but sometimes, it's okay if you don't win. You certainly don't have to 'dog' on your team mates because you don't think they are as good as you want them to be. Nor, do you have to be a complete ball hog and not let anyone play and continuously say "oh, I didn't think you would get that one." Luckily, I have a high tolerance for stupidity and cruelty, so I ignored her...and actually made a point of saying things like "good try" when she screwed up, and "good job" when she did good. Maybe if I can act like an adult towards her, she will act like an adult back....but it's unlikely.
Anyway, Volleyball was a TON of fun, and I can't wait to go back for more! I totally wish that we played more than on Sunday!
Scrapbooking Getaway
So, if you know me, you know I am a Scrapbookaholic! I LOVE preserving my memories in a great way, I love spending time with my friends and meeting new people!
This past weekend was one of the couple Scrapbooking getaways I do a year. There are 4 of us that go, Lori, Kelli, and Amanda. Lori and Kelli are sisters, so sometimes you get the sisterly non-love, but it's more funny than anything, and all three of these ladies are amazing! I love spending time with them! We stay at a little hotel in Muskegon, MI, and crop in a room full of other woman who are doing the same thing. We share ideas, paper, embellishments, our fun Scrapbooking gadgets, like the Cricut or Gypsy. And of course, a lot of stories!
All of these things happened this weekend! We had a blast and I accomplished a lot of scrapbooking! I learned a lot of new things, not just about scrapbooking either!
I also won a new Cartridge for my Cricut! That made my day! :D
This past weekend was one of the couple Scrapbooking getaways I do a year. There are 4 of us that go, Lori, Kelli, and Amanda. Lori and Kelli are sisters, so sometimes you get the sisterly non-love, but it's more funny than anything, and all three of these ladies are amazing! I love spending time with them! We stay at a little hotel in Muskegon, MI, and crop in a room full of other woman who are doing the same thing. We share ideas, paper, embellishments, our fun Scrapbooking gadgets, like the Cricut or Gypsy. And of course, a lot of stories!
All of these things happened this weekend! We had a blast and I accomplished a lot of scrapbooking! I learned a lot of new things, not just about scrapbooking either!
I also won a new Cartridge for my Cricut! That made my day! :D
Tuesday, September 7, 2010
Tip of the Mitt - A weekend in Northern Michigan
If you live in Michigan, Labor Day weekend means a lot of things. The last weekend to BBQ, vacation, swim, camp, clean up cemetary plots, buy school clothes. It also means, that very soon, school busses will be in your way on your morning drive, football games, bonfires, color tours, hoodies and jeans, and of course, the Annual Labor Day Bridge Walk, the one time a year you can walk across the Mackinaw Bridge :)
I set a goal for myself when starting my weight loss program, "be fit enough by Labor day to walk the bridge in 1 hour". I soon learned that making it across the bridge in one hour with the hordes of people, would require running, for pretty much anyone, not just me. When we walk at home, we do about 3.5 miles in an hour. So, I adjusted my goal to be an actual attainable goal, do it in 1.5 hours. This would mean picking up our pace and walking more like 3.8 miles per hour. So, we made plans to head to the Tip of the Mitt for Sunday and Monday of Labor Day weekend.
I've been to this area many times in my life, my husband has only been twice now. Once to walk the bridge and once to drive over it on our way to Drummond Island, both times were with me. So, we landed a room in Mackinaw City, right on the lake and near the ferries and the busses for the walk. Here's a summary of our amazing weekend away!
Sunday, September 5, 2010:
6 AM - Wake up, get ready load the car
7 AM - Hit the road!
11 AM - Arrive in Mackinaw City, Traffic was great going up and in the city! We couldn't quite check into the hotel yet, so we borrowed their parking lot and moved on
12:30 AM - After waiting for about 30 minutes for a Ferry, we boarded Shepler's Ferry at $21 a piece and headed over to Mackinaw Island! It was a great Ferry ride, a little windy and wet, but fun to see the bridge up close and watch the island get closer :)
1:00 AM - 6 PM Arrive and play on Mackinaw Island. I haven't been here since I was young, probably 9ish. Mackinaw Island, if you don't know, is an "old time" island. There are no cars allowed (although we did see one truck out at a pier that confused us, we think it was a state truck). Transportation consists of your own two feet, bikes, horses and horse and carriage.
So...our first insight into Island life was that A. it was crowded (but this is a busy weekend, we expected it) B. the whole place smelled of horses...I think it is permanently embedded into my nostrils. We decide, it's a great time to explore some and let the bike rental lines get a little smaller. We hit up some tourist trap type shops. Luckily, we aren't in the market for touristy garbage, so we left thoe unscathed :) Next, Ralph was determined that you couldn't come to Mackinaw and not try the fudge :) So Murdick's fudge was the place of choice. We ordered up 3 blocks of fudge for family and so that later we could sample a teeny sliver of fudge :) We got 'Granola' - suppose to taste like a No-Bake, it did, kinda, but all I could taste was the sugar! 'Cranberry' - which tasted like nothing to me...just more sugar and 'Peanut Butter' - Was as delicious and Peanut Buttery as I remember! YUM!
Next on the agenda and the main reason we came to the island....get some excercise! We decided to bike the island and while getting our excercise for the day in, also see the sites and smell the smells...okay, not the horse smells, the fresh air smells away from the city. We rented our single, one speed, bikes from Ryba's Rentals for $5 per hour and after trying to get use to getting on a bike again, we headed out. It was pretty crowded on the roads between the bikers and the walkers, but it was a nice ride. The air was brisk, and the sun was shining! We went about 2 miles and found the stairs that lead to Arch Rock. This is a Rock formation that basically looks like a huge hole in the side of it. It's shaped like a Stargate (if you're a Sci-fi fan ;)). I have no idea how many stairs this was, but it was a lot, and it was treacherous. The stairs leaned in ways they shouldn't, some of the wood was questionable, but we arrived at the top, safe and sound. It was so crowded up there that we took 2 pictures and scrammed. The climb down...much easier :D The next stop on our 7 or 8 mile trek was a gorgeous rocky beach that had an amazing view of the Mackinaw Bridge. It was nice to walk on our legs too ;) We got about 1/2 way around the island and came to a path that allowed us to cut inland towards Skull cave and some really old cemetaries, as well as battlefields, a whole lot of endless roads and trees and hills....did I mention that apparently Mackinaw Island should be names Mt. Mackinaw Island? I realize that all islands are the top of a mountain of sorts sticking out of the water, but phew....this place was hilly the more inland you got! At some point, we stopped trying to bike our single speeds up the hill, and we walked them. Our major excitement happened right after we realized we were on the backside of Fort Mackinac (A British fort from like the 1700's or something like that). We stopped for a picture, and a nice lady that was walking offered to take a picture of us together. It was a great picture....after restarting our engines and starting back towards town, my husband decided he wanted an up close and personal look at the fencing around the fort property. He managed to ride off the road into the mini-ravine on the side of the road and all I heard was "crash". I turned around and there he was, both hands gripping the top of the fence, body pressed against the fence and legs still wrapped around the bike behind him. Since he wasn't screaming in agony, I ventured he was okay, so I start giggling as I ask him if he's alright ;) He is, physically, other than a bruise or two. But mentally, he is obviously embarresed and worried that he damaged the rental and was going to have to pay for it...so that was the end of riding for us...we headed straight back to the city and returned the bikes.
Since, we are bikeless, and there is still plenty to see, we start out on foot again for an hour or so, checking out the cute boutiques, the views of the water and the immense amount of kites being flown. But, alas, our day on the island has come to an end...so back to the mainland we go. The ride back was FREEZING! Why oh why did we ride on the top of the ferry?! But, we got some good quality snuggling in :)
7 PM - Meet some friends that we almost never see for dinner at Noona Lisa's. It's a cute little italian place that has taxidermy all over the place!
8:30 pm - head back to the hotel, and check out the Jacuzzi tub in our room :D After a long day of riding and what will become a long day of walking the next day...we needed the relaxation!
Monday, September 6, 2010
4:30 AM - curse out loud as the alarm clock goes off.
5:30 am - head to the bus line. for $5 a person, you get to ride a school bus across the Bridge, since the walk starts on the St. Ignace side...or if you start in St. Ignace, the busses will take you back across to your car. Now, I realize, this seems like a lot of money, but it does pay for the gas and use of the busses. And your other option is to have a car on both ends, and since it costs $3.50 to cross the bridge everytime, in either direction, it's just cheaper and less of a traffic hassle to ride the busses.
6:30 AM - arrive safely in the UP and join the massive crowd that is waiting at the starting line. We listen to a horrible DJ, get rained on some, get some neat pictures of the bridge at night, wait in line to use a port-a-potty one last time before the walk starts, then listen to the Governor of Michigan speak as her last time as Governor when she heads up the Labor Day walk with a group of runners.
7:00 - AM The walk starts! We get caught up in the slow, very slow, moving mob for the first 5-10 minutes, we made sure we didn't start our stop watch (iPhone app) until we were on the bridge...and not still in the waiting hole. After some manuevering, pushing, and grumbling at each other for pushing and shoving, we finally make it past the mob, and into a mostly free-moving crown of people. I had a goal to meet, and these people were slowing me down! It was a great walk, a little slippery over the grates, but great nonetheless.
8:17 AM - Crossed the finish line! We were person 1893 and 1894 to cross the line :D This means we tackled the 5 mile trek in 1 hour 14 minutes and 19 seconds! WOOT! :) We ran into some friends from our Weight Loss Group and they made it in 1 hour 8 minutes, and did some running in there. We figure we nailed 4 MPH as we crossed :D This made my day! I beat my goal! :D
9 AM - Arrive back at the hotel, after looking for our "crossing numbers" in the store shop windows, to change into real clothes and hit the shops!
10:30 AM - our legs are about falling off and about to stop moving, period, so we decide it's time to find some food, we've only had one shake and some fruit since 4:30 am. We stop at the Dixie Saloon. They are only serving sandwiches, this is really difficult when you are on a plan like ours! So, we settle for some wraps, at least then we can take the tortilla off (after a couple bites with the tortilla on, just cuz it's yummy and we miss bread!). I also hear from my parents and their crew at this point. They have all survived the bridge crossing, some for the first time! We tell them, the Dixie Saloon is not busy and yummy, so we get to chat with them while they are waiting for their table for 14 to be set up :)
11:30 AM - More shopping, we are on a mission for some hoodies and a temporary wedding band for the hubster. We had success! He found a Stainless Band that he likes, and for $20 he is okay if it gets destroyed! Also, found our hoodies...since we were freezing, this was a great purchase :D Time for a bathroom break, so we trudged all the way back down to the bridge for the port-a-potties and to check out the beach under the bridge. It's a nice area, that we will check out again :D
12:30 PM arrive back at the hotel, we are beat, and it's time to head home and try to beat the traffic
12:30 PM - 7:30 PM The drive home. What should have been a 3.5 hour drive home, turned into a 7 hour one. We love road trips, and love checking out great scenic routes. So from Mackinaw, we took 31 over to Harbor Springs. We then discovered that the Tunnel of Trees on M-119 runs crom Cross Village to Harbor Springs. Cross Village is 20 miles North of Harbor Springs....so North we go. It was a great scenic drive along M-119 and the Tunnel of Trees. It's winding roads that aren't really two lanes wide and has no shoulders. The trees surround and go over the road like a tunnel. I recommend the drive! From Cross Village, we tell Tom-Tom to head home. As we get closer to Harbor Springs again, we realize that we aren't far from M-22. This highway has a great spot on it that looks like you are going to drice right into the ater as you come over a hill, then there is a scenic roadside park. So, what the heck...we head towards M-22. We found the hill (which was very neat) and stop at the roadside park and because our legs are already failing us, make the intelligent decision to climb the 117 stairs to the top for a spectacular view! It was totally worth it! With a minor scare from the neighbor that our cats got out (the wind blew the back door open), we rushed home and arrived to find our neighbor rocks and had locked the house back up and located all the cats!
8:30 PM - Exhaustion sets in...and we are in bed!
So that's it...my great weekend! It was super busy, as they always are, but it was unforgettable and amazing too :D
I hope everyone enjoyed their labor day!
I set a goal for myself when starting my weight loss program, "be fit enough by Labor day to walk the bridge in 1 hour". I soon learned that making it across the bridge in one hour with the hordes of people, would require running, for pretty much anyone, not just me. When we walk at home, we do about 3.5 miles in an hour. So, I adjusted my goal to be an actual attainable goal, do it in 1.5 hours. This would mean picking up our pace and walking more like 3.8 miles per hour. So, we made plans to head to the Tip of the Mitt for Sunday and Monday of Labor Day weekend.
I've been to this area many times in my life, my husband has only been twice now. Once to walk the bridge and once to drive over it on our way to Drummond Island, both times were with me. So, we landed a room in Mackinaw City, right on the lake and near the ferries and the busses for the walk. Here's a summary of our amazing weekend away!
Sunday, September 5, 2010:
6 AM - Wake up, get ready load the car
7 AM - Hit the road!
11 AM - Arrive in Mackinaw City, Traffic was great going up and in the city! We couldn't quite check into the hotel yet, so we borrowed their parking lot and moved on
12:30 AM - After waiting for about 30 minutes for a Ferry, we boarded Shepler's Ferry at $21 a piece and headed over to Mackinaw Island! It was a great Ferry ride, a little windy and wet, but fun to see the bridge up close and watch the island get closer :)
1:00 AM - 6 PM Arrive and play on Mackinaw Island. I haven't been here since I was young, probably 9ish. Mackinaw Island, if you don't know, is an "old time" island. There are no cars allowed (although we did see one truck out at a pier that confused us, we think it was a state truck). Transportation consists of your own two feet, bikes, horses and horse and carriage.
So...our first insight into Island life was that A. it was crowded (but this is a busy weekend, we expected it) B. the whole place smelled of horses...I think it is permanently embedded into my nostrils. We decide, it's a great time to explore some and let the bike rental lines get a little smaller. We hit up some tourist trap type shops. Luckily, we aren't in the market for touristy garbage, so we left thoe unscathed :) Next, Ralph was determined that you couldn't come to Mackinaw and not try the fudge :) So Murdick's fudge was the place of choice. We ordered up 3 blocks of fudge for family and so that later we could sample a teeny sliver of fudge :) We got 'Granola' - suppose to taste like a No-Bake, it did, kinda, but all I could taste was the sugar! 'Cranberry' - which tasted like nothing to me...just more sugar and 'Peanut Butter' - Was as delicious and Peanut Buttery as I remember! YUM!
Next on the agenda and the main reason we came to the island....get some excercise! We decided to bike the island and while getting our excercise for the day in, also see the sites and smell the smells...okay, not the horse smells, the fresh air smells away from the city. We rented our single, one speed, bikes from Ryba's Rentals for $5 per hour and after trying to get use to getting on a bike again, we headed out. It was pretty crowded on the roads between the bikers and the walkers, but it was a nice ride. The air was brisk, and the sun was shining! We went about 2 miles and found the stairs that lead to Arch Rock. This is a Rock formation that basically looks like a huge hole in the side of it. It's shaped like a Stargate (if you're a Sci-fi fan ;)). I have no idea how many stairs this was, but it was a lot, and it was treacherous. The stairs leaned in ways they shouldn't, some of the wood was questionable, but we arrived at the top, safe and sound. It was so crowded up there that we took 2 pictures and scrammed. The climb down...much easier :D The next stop on our 7 or 8 mile trek was a gorgeous rocky beach that had an amazing view of the Mackinaw Bridge. It was nice to walk on our legs too ;) We got about 1/2 way around the island and came to a path that allowed us to cut inland towards Skull cave and some really old cemetaries, as well as battlefields, a whole lot of endless roads and trees and hills....did I mention that apparently Mackinaw Island should be names Mt. Mackinaw Island? I realize that all islands are the top of a mountain of sorts sticking out of the water, but phew....this place was hilly the more inland you got! At some point, we stopped trying to bike our single speeds up the hill, and we walked them. Our major excitement happened right after we realized we were on the backside of Fort Mackinac (A British fort from like the 1700's or something like that). We stopped for a picture, and a nice lady that was walking offered to take a picture of us together. It was a great picture....after restarting our engines and starting back towards town, my husband decided he wanted an up close and personal look at the fencing around the fort property. He managed to ride off the road into the mini-ravine on the side of the road and all I heard was "crash". I turned around and there he was, both hands gripping the top of the fence, body pressed against the fence and legs still wrapped around the bike behind him. Since he wasn't screaming in agony, I ventured he was okay, so I start giggling as I ask him if he's alright ;) He is, physically, other than a bruise or two. But mentally, he is obviously embarresed and worried that he damaged the rental and was going to have to pay for it...so that was the end of riding for us...we headed straight back to the city and returned the bikes.
Since, we are bikeless, and there is still plenty to see, we start out on foot again for an hour or so, checking out the cute boutiques, the views of the water and the immense amount of kites being flown. But, alas, our day on the island has come to an end...so back to the mainland we go. The ride back was FREEZING! Why oh why did we ride on the top of the ferry?! But, we got some good quality snuggling in :)
7 PM - Meet some friends that we almost never see for dinner at Noona Lisa's. It's a cute little italian place that has taxidermy all over the place!
8:30 pm - head back to the hotel, and check out the Jacuzzi tub in our room :D After a long day of riding and what will become a long day of walking the next day...we needed the relaxation!
Monday, September 6, 2010
4:30 AM - curse out loud as the alarm clock goes off.
5:30 am - head to the bus line. for $5 a person, you get to ride a school bus across the Bridge, since the walk starts on the St. Ignace side...or if you start in St. Ignace, the busses will take you back across to your car. Now, I realize, this seems like a lot of money, but it does pay for the gas and use of the busses. And your other option is to have a car on both ends, and since it costs $3.50 to cross the bridge everytime, in either direction, it's just cheaper and less of a traffic hassle to ride the busses.
6:30 AM - arrive safely in the UP and join the massive crowd that is waiting at the starting line. We listen to a horrible DJ, get rained on some, get some neat pictures of the bridge at night, wait in line to use a port-a-potty one last time before the walk starts, then listen to the Governor of Michigan speak as her last time as Governor when she heads up the Labor Day walk with a group of runners.
7:00 - AM The walk starts! We get caught up in the slow, very slow, moving mob for the first 5-10 minutes, we made sure we didn't start our stop watch (iPhone app) until we were on the bridge...and not still in the waiting hole. After some manuevering, pushing, and grumbling at each other for pushing and shoving, we finally make it past the mob, and into a mostly free-moving crown of people. I had a goal to meet, and these people were slowing me down! It was a great walk, a little slippery over the grates, but great nonetheless.
8:17 AM - Crossed the finish line! We were person 1893 and 1894 to cross the line :D This means we tackled the 5 mile trek in 1 hour 14 minutes and 19 seconds! WOOT! :) We ran into some friends from our Weight Loss Group and they made it in 1 hour 8 minutes, and did some running in there. We figure we nailed 4 MPH as we crossed :D This made my day! I beat my goal! :D
9 AM - Arrive back at the hotel, after looking for our "crossing numbers" in the store shop windows, to change into real clothes and hit the shops!
10:30 AM - our legs are about falling off and about to stop moving, period, so we decide it's time to find some food, we've only had one shake and some fruit since 4:30 am. We stop at the Dixie Saloon. They are only serving sandwiches, this is really difficult when you are on a plan like ours! So, we settle for some wraps, at least then we can take the tortilla off (after a couple bites with the tortilla on, just cuz it's yummy and we miss bread!). I also hear from my parents and their crew at this point. They have all survived the bridge crossing, some for the first time! We tell them, the Dixie Saloon is not busy and yummy, so we get to chat with them while they are waiting for their table for 14 to be set up :)
11:30 AM - More shopping, we are on a mission for some hoodies and a temporary wedding band for the hubster. We had success! He found a Stainless Band that he likes, and for $20 he is okay if it gets destroyed! Also, found our hoodies...since we were freezing, this was a great purchase :D Time for a bathroom break, so we trudged all the way back down to the bridge for the port-a-potties and to check out the beach under the bridge. It's a nice area, that we will check out again :D
12:30 PM arrive back at the hotel, we are beat, and it's time to head home and try to beat the traffic
12:30 PM - 7:30 PM The drive home. What should have been a 3.5 hour drive home, turned into a 7 hour one. We love road trips, and love checking out great scenic routes. So from Mackinaw, we took 31 over to Harbor Springs. We then discovered that the Tunnel of Trees on M-119 runs crom Cross Village to Harbor Springs. Cross Village is 20 miles North of Harbor Springs....so North we go. It was a great scenic drive along M-119 and the Tunnel of Trees. It's winding roads that aren't really two lanes wide and has no shoulders. The trees surround and go over the road like a tunnel. I recommend the drive! From Cross Village, we tell Tom-Tom to head home. As we get closer to Harbor Springs again, we realize that we aren't far from M-22. This highway has a great spot on it that looks like you are going to drice right into the ater as you come over a hill, then there is a scenic roadside park. So, what the heck...we head towards M-22. We found the hill (which was very neat) and stop at the roadside park and because our legs are already failing us, make the intelligent decision to climb the 117 stairs to the top for a spectacular view! It was totally worth it! With a minor scare from the neighbor that our cats got out (the wind blew the back door open), we rushed home and arrived to find our neighbor rocks and had locked the house back up and located all the cats!
8:30 PM - Exhaustion sets in...and we are in bed!
So that's it...my great weekend! It was super busy, as they always are, but it was unforgettable and amazing too :D
I hope everyone enjoyed their labor day!
BeliefNet - Religion survey
In my research into religion and what, if any, religion is right for me, I ran across a site called BeliefNet. This site has some Quizzes you can take, one of them being, "A Personality quiz about your religious and spiritual beliefs". So, out of curiousity only (I will not make my religious choices on this quiz, it's just interesting) I took the quiz. Here are the results of the religions that best match my beliefs:
1. Liberal Quakers (100%)
2. Mainline to Liberal Christian Protestants (100%)
3. Unitarian Universalism (94%)
4. Baha'i Faith (83%)
5. Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints (Mormons) (78%)
6. Neo-Pagan (78%)
7. Orthodox Quaker (75%)
8. Sikhism (73%)
9. Theravada Buddhism (70%)
10. Mainline to Conservative Christian/Protestant (70%)
11. New Age (67%)
12. Jehovah's Witness (66%)
13. Mahayana Buddhism (66%)
14. Reform Judaism (64%)
15. Secular Humanism (62%)
16. Orthodox Judaism (59%)
17. Seventh Day Adventist (56%)
18. Christian Science (Church of Christ, Scientist) (54%)
19. Eastern Orthodox (51%)
20. Roman Catholic (51%)
21. Jainism (51%)
22. Hinduism (50%)
23. Taoism (50%)
24. New Thought (46%)
25. Islam (42%)
26. Nontheist (41%)
27. Scientology (37%)
What's interesting about these results is that Mormonism is so high on this list. I remember having a couple of Jehovah Witnesses coming to my house as a teenager, I let them in, because they were hot ;) But, they gave me a book of Mormon, I remember being fascinated with some of the things it talked about. Apparently, I should check it out. I will also be researching all of the religions on this list seeing if their beliefs are something I agree with and if it is worth it for me to try to attend some services and talk to other people about it.
My religious journey is not going to be a fast one, as it shouldn't be, but I do want to eventually find the group that best matches my beliefs and what I want for my future children :)
Thanks for bearing with me!
1. Liberal Quakers (100%)
2. Mainline to Liberal Christian Protestants (100%)
3. Unitarian Universalism (94%)
4. Baha'i Faith (83%)
5. Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints (Mormons) (78%)
6. Neo-Pagan (78%)
7. Orthodox Quaker (75%)
8. Sikhism (73%)
9. Theravada Buddhism (70%)
10. Mainline to Conservative Christian/Protestant (70%)
11. New Age (67%)
12. Jehovah's Witness (66%)
13. Mahayana Buddhism (66%)
14. Reform Judaism (64%)
15. Secular Humanism (62%)
16. Orthodox Judaism (59%)
17. Seventh Day Adventist (56%)
18. Christian Science (Church of Christ, Scientist) (54%)
19. Eastern Orthodox (51%)
20. Roman Catholic (51%)
21. Jainism (51%)
22. Hinduism (50%)
23. Taoism (50%)
24. New Thought (46%)
25. Islam (42%)
26. Nontheist (41%)
27. Scientology (37%)
What's interesting about these results is that Mormonism is so high on this list. I remember having a couple of Jehovah Witnesses coming to my house as a teenager, I let them in, because they were hot ;) But, they gave me a book of Mormon, I remember being fascinated with some of the things it talked about. Apparently, I should check it out. I will also be researching all of the religions on this list seeing if their beliefs are something I agree with and if it is worth it for me to try to attend some services and talk to other people about it.
My religious journey is not going to be a fast one, as it shouldn't be, but I do want to eventually find the group that best matches my beliefs and what I want for my future children :)
Thanks for bearing with me!
Friday, September 3, 2010
Memories and emotions
It's amazing that I can be going about my day, doing my thing and BAM, I hit a brick wall. All of a sudden I am overcome with sadness and grief and a flood of memories. It's been about seven and a half years since my daughter went to heaven. Most days I am just fine, I always think about her, at least once during my day, usually I smile at a good memory. Sometimes, my heart aches like the day she died.
For example, today, I'm sitting at my desk, freezing and bored out of my mind, I see one picture on a friends Facebook, and now, I'm trying not to cry.
I find other times, that I drive by her cemetary and of course think about her, but don't stop by, other times, I'm pulled in. Or worse yet...just driving down the road and get hit with grief...I've had to pull over on more than one occasion.
At this point in my grieving process, I'm at the "this is how it will always be" stage. It sucks, and I know there are many out there like me who have lost a child and will always struggle with the randomness of their grief. I imagine, this happens to everyone that has lost someone they are close with, parents, siblings, grand parents...whomever it was.
I miss her, a lot! Sadly, I don't have a lot of great memories, mostly memories of her tied to a machine and knocked out, but the handful of good ones I have, I hang on to. We have a video of her laughing, and it is the most precious sound I have ever heard, and will ever hear. It is one of my most treasured 'keepsakes'. One of those things you take for granted if your child is healthy.
I'm ready to have another baby, but what scares me the most, is loosing another one. For starters, I never would want another child to have to go through what she did, it was horrible. Secondly, I know I couldn't handle two...I think I would become catatonic! I'm terrified of putting my husband through this kind of pain. I know that when I become pregnant, I will demand every possible test, twice, and when the new baby is born, it will have them all too.
I'm also scared of not having enough room in my heart for two babies! I'm terrified a new baby will replace Makayla, I don't know how that could ever ever happen, but I'm afraid of confusing the memories. They are all I have, I can't loose those too.
Now...what do I tell the new baby about their half sibling? Probably the whole story at some point, but at one point do I start bringing her into their life. It's going to be weird. My nephews were 'told' about her when they started recognizing themselves in pictures and then would see a picture of her and ask who it was and that they wanted to play with her. My mom would explain that she was my baby, and that she was in heaven. The first time my oldest nephew said "Can I go to heaven and play with baby Makayla?" about put me into Pine Rest! I panicked! He now knows that she is dead, and he is old enough to understand what that means, but, his little brother, does not yet, so we are doing this charade all over again. I have no idea how I will do this with our child.
Right now...I just know that I miss her, with every bit of my soul. I need a grief support group......
Thursday, September 2, 2010
My opinions on Rapid Weight Loss
Now that I've tossed out my stories of my lifetime of fatitude and what I am finally doing to tackle those. I think I should tell you why it took me so long to try a program like this.
Low-Calorie Rapid Weight Loss Programs in general, are a fraud and don't work, or at least don't work once you are done with the program. You live on Meal Replacements only. You get shakes, bars and soup. You are told to excercise and attend meetings, but it's not a requirement. These programs, help you loose weight very fast, but I do not think they are safe. The couple I have checked into, do not provide you with the nutrients your body needs every day, there is no long term maintenance program, and the classes are weigh-ins and to see how your week went...nothing more.
Gastric Bypass - Is obviously a very effective way to loose weight. I think it is okay if someone really needs it. If they truly have tried all other options and couldn't loose the weight for one reason or another, or if medically it's the only way they can even get out of bed, or they medically need to loose weight fast for other dyer health reasons. I DO NOT think it is okay for someone to be allowed to have the surgery who hasn't tried to loose weight through other options, such as one of the many Diet's or a Rapid Weight Loss Program. Telling me you are having gastric bypass in 3 days as you inhale a double cheeseburger with bacon, does nothing but tell me you will fail!
Programs such as Nutrasystem, Atkins Diet, South Beach, etc...the diets anyone can do over the counter on their own. They don't work. They work for a minute, until you get bored of them. If you are highly motivated, they might work, but if that was true, you probably wouldn't be obese to begin with.
The new diet pill Ambrien - I have a friend that has taken this pill and lost a lot of weight, really fast, she was loosing it as fast as I was. She looks amazing and says she feels amazing. Now you can only take this pill for 2 or 3 months, and from what I'm told it makes you just not hungry. It doesn't have any nutrients, and now you just aren't eating more than very little once or twice a day. Hmmmm....although effective, this can't be healthy for you.
Weight Watchers - I believe this is the most effective, non-medical way to loose weight. It did work for me, and if the monthly meetings weren't so expensive, I think I could have done very well on this program, although a slower process, you still get good foods, there are no medications, you get support and excercise. Thinking back, had I just done the monthly meetings instead of the online program, I would probably finally be to the weight I am now, but I would still have 45 lbs to go.
So, why am I doing a rapid weight loss program if these are my opinions on the matter? When we checked this program out, we learned that it includes every bit of our nutritional requirements in order to maintain a healthy weight and blood sugar levels and give us the energy to excercise. Plus, we get to eat some real food. It's not a starve or deprive yourself. We can eat Fruits and Vegetables, and if I put the right amount of effort in, I can have lean meats. I do miss Dairy, but I can add little amounts of fat free cheese and other dairy to things to make my meals if I want, I just have to claim the calories. It offers support, every week, from an instructor who I can contact every day if I want to, from a physician who is available if I have any problems at all, from an amazing group of people, who have come to be my friends. It will also offer on-going support, and I will forever be able to purchase the Meal Replacements if I ever need to loose another 5 lbs, or because I do enjoy them, if I want a low calorie option for breakfast, lunch or a snack. This program teaches me about living, and teaches me how to eat right, but still have a normal life. I can have pizza, but now I know how much is good. In fact, I look at things now and think "that looks awesome, but it will mean 30 minutes on the treadmill...no thanks". I get support from past members. I ran into someone in the locker room just yesterday, she has been out of the program for a year, has done 3 triatholons and many marathons and looks amazing! It was motivating to talk to her, and she just offered it up. We talked about my struggles and successess...it was great! The entire complex that we attend is supportive and doesn't judge. That is the motivation I need....it's the kick in the rear to keep me going! I work with a lot of people that are in the program or know that I am, and we watch out for each other all the time. This program's ratings are that during the 20 week program, the average weight loss is 17% and an 85 % success rate at still keeping the weight off a year later, the highest in the state. At week 14, I am at 21% of my weight lost and my husband is at 24%. Those are some good statistics.
If in a year, I have gained my weight back, you can say "I told you so" but I know that I won't! All other programs have failed me so far, and I believe that if I had tried one of the other Rapid Weight Loss programs, I wouldn't feel the support I have, nor learned the things I have. I would have failed. I don't know if all of this makes me a hypocrite or not, but I am comfortable with my decision, and honestly believe this is a lifestyle change for me...and NOT a diet!
Here's to success and a long, happy, healthy skinnier life! :D
Low-Calorie Rapid Weight Loss Programs in general, are a fraud and don't work, or at least don't work once you are done with the program. You live on Meal Replacements only. You get shakes, bars and soup. You are told to excercise and attend meetings, but it's not a requirement. These programs, help you loose weight very fast, but I do not think they are safe. The couple I have checked into, do not provide you with the nutrients your body needs every day, there is no long term maintenance program, and the classes are weigh-ins and to see how your week went...nothing more.
Gastric Bypass - Is obviously a very effective way to loose weight. I think it is okay if someone really needs it. If they truly have tried all other options and couldn't loose the weight for one reason or another, or if medically it's the only way they can even get out of bed, or they medically need to loose weight fast for other dyer health reasons. I DO NOT think it is okay for someone to be allowed to have the surgery who hasn't tried to loose weight through other options, such as one of the many Diet's or a Rapid Weight Loss Program. Telling me you are having gastric bypass in 3 days as you inhale a double cheeseburger with bacon, does nothing but tell me you will fail!
Programs such as Nutrasystem, Atkins Diet, South Beach, etc...the diets anyone can do over the counter on their own. They don't work. They work for a minute, until you get bored of them. If you are highly motivated, they might work, but if that was true, you probably wouldn't be obese to begin with.
The new diet pill Ambrien - I have a friend that has taken this pill and lost a lot of weight, really fast, she was loosing it as fast as I was. She looks amazing and says she feels amazing. Now you can only take this pill for 2 or 3 months, and from what I'm told it makes you just not hungry. It doesn't have any nutrients, and now you just aren't eating more than very little once or twice a day. Hmmmm....although effective, this can't be healthy for you.
Weight Watchers - I believe this is the most effective, non-medical way to loose weight. It did work for me, and if the monthly meetings weren't so expensive, I think I could have done very well on this program, although a slower process, you still get good foods, there are no medications, you get support and excercise. Thinking back, had I just done the monthly meetings instead of the online program, I would probably finally be to the weight I am now, but I would still have 45 lbs to go.
So, why am I doing a rapid weight loss program if these are my opinions on the matter? When we checked this program out, we learned that it includes every bit of our nutritional requirements in order to maintain a healthy weight and blood sugar levels and give us the energy to excercise. Plus, we get to eat some real food. It's not a starve or deprive yourself. We can eat Fruits and Vegetables, and if I put the right amount of effort in, I can have lean meats. I do miss Dairy, but I can add little amounts of fat free cheese and other dairy to things to make my meals if I want, I just have to claim the calories. It offers support, every week, from an instructor who I can contact every day if I want to, from a physician who is available if I have any problems at all, from an amazing group of people, who have come to be my friends. It will also offer on-going support, and I will forever be able to purchase the Meal Replacements if I ever need to loose another 5 lbs, or because I do enjoy them, if I want a low calorie option for breakfast, lunch or a snack. This program teaches me about living, and teaches me how to eat right, but still have a normal life. I can have pizza, but now I know how much is good. In fact, I look at things now and think "that looks awesome, but it will mean 30 minutes on the treadmill...no thanks". I get support from past members. I ran into someone in the locker room just yesterday, she has been out of the program for a year, has done 3 triatholons and many marathons and looks amazing! It was motivating to talk to her, and she just offered it up. We talked about my struggles and successess...it was great! The entire complex that we attend is supportive and doesn't judge. That is the motivation I need....it's the kick in the rear to keep me going! I work with a lot of people that are in the program or know that I am, and we watch out for each other all the time. This program's ratings are that during the 20 week program, the average weight loss is 17% and an 85 % success rate at still keeping the weight off a year later, the highest in the state. At week 14, I am at 21% of my weight lost and my husband is at 24%. Those are some good statistics.
If in a year, I have gained my weight back, you can say "I told you so" but I know that I won't! All other programs have failed me so far, and I believe that if I had tried one of the other Rapid Weight Loss programs, I wouldn't feel the support I have, nor learned the things I have. I would have failed. I don't know if all of this makes me a hypocrite or not, but I am comfortable with my decision, and honestly believe this is a lifestyle change for me...and NOT a diet!
Here's to success and a long, happy, healthy skinnier life! :D
New You...or rather really...a New ME
If you are my friend on Facebook...then you have seen this post once already, it's mostly a copy paste, but I've adjusted some of the facts to be relevant for where I am now in the program:
A lot of people question whether the program we are using is healthy or not. I would like to show you that it is perfectly healthy and in fact, we are probably getting more of the appropriate nutrients than most of the people in the US.
A brief description: Our diet consists of at leat 4 Meal Replacement packets a day (Nutritional Info Below), these can be in the form of shakes, or normal type foods, we can make muffins, pizza, chips, cake, cobbler, waffles, bread, even ice cream! It also consists of 5 servings of Fruits and vegetables (F/V) a day that total no more than 360 calories, but at least 160 calories. Our goal on any given day is to consume at least 800 calories (between the packets and the F/V) and 12 cups of fluid a day (8 of which are water and 4 can be non-caloric drinks, although if we drink caffeine, we need to add another glass of water to offset the dehydration factor). We should be eating around 1,000 calories a day, especially if we are excercising properly. We also are required to excercise every single day. We worked our way up to 60 minutes a day, by starting at 20 minutes and adding 10 each week.
This is a 20 week program that requires we attend a group meeting once a week (Tuesday's) and that we check in with our health coach at least once a week (via email or phone). If we meet our goals by the 20 week mark, then we can work back into a normal eating routine and excercise 3.5 hrs a week to maintain our weight loss, and continue to go to 'on-going' classes for support. If we don't meet our goals, then we can start the maintenance program (at no additional cost) and continue meeting once a week and following the program until we meet our goals. The class teaches us something new each week, ultimately working with us to get back into grocery store eating and off of the meal replacements. This will teach us how to continue to eat healthy and take care of ourselves, and to avoid regaining the weight. So far, we have learned about portion sizes and portion distortion. We have learned how to count/estimate calories by learning about how many calories basic foods have in them. This will especially help when at things like restaurants or potlucks. We have learned how to excercise, what is a good heart rate to burn fat and maintain it, how to stop having negative feelings about ourselves and start thinking more positively (man...that is hard!), how to deal with stress, versus just eating, etc....
My start weight was 225.8 lbs, my goal is to lose 90 lbs to get me to 135 lbs, but if I get to 150 lbs I would be happy with that! In 13 weeks I have lost 46.8 lbs. My husband has lost 76 lbs. This is a Rapid Weight Loss Program, though I don't think it's as rapid as Gastric Bypass, but we do have some of the same potential side effects, but only some, obviously, we could end up with sagging skin, but if I tone and lotion appropriately, I'm hoping to avoid a lot of that, we could have gall bladder problems, but it's rare, and typical things like the occasional diarreha or constipation if we don't have the right balance of fruits/vegetables...and of course....we pee ALOT! but I have found that the more I excercise, the less I have to pee and actually the more water I drink. This is a Medically Supervised program and we did meet with a doctor and had many tests done and if need to we can see that doctor anytime. We will see him at the end of the program again to see where we are :) At about week 7 I had my gall bladder removed. I apparently had a lot of stones, and I would have ended up with problems this year or next, but this program sped that process up. It's been hard still loosing weight while I felt sick and not well enough to excercise!
So, although this is a Rapid Weight Loss Program, and generally you shouldn't loose more than 2ish lbs a week if doing your own diet, we should average 2-4 lbs a week, this program is built to give you the nutrients and daily requirements of everything you need every day, something the normal dieter may or may not get...but my body is functioning normally and at a healthy level. I feel the best I have in years and have absolutely no regrets and feel good that when all is said and done, I can continue to keep the weight off!
Nutritional Info: (this is for a total of the 4 Meal Replacements a day)
Calories 640
Protein (grams) 60
Carbs (grams) 88
Essential Fat (g) 4
Fiber (g) 8
Sodium (mill) 1200
Potassium (mill) 2520
Calcium (milli) 1000
Magnesium (milli) 480
The following is per Meal Replacement Packet
Vitamin A - 1250 IU
Vitamin C - 15 mg
Calcium - 250 mg
Iron - 4.5 mg
Thiamin - .375 mg
Riboflavin - .425 mg
Niacin - 5 mg
Vitamin D - 100 IU
Vitamin E - 7.5 IU
Vitamin B6 - .5 mg
Folate - 100 mcg
Vitamin B12 - 1.5 mcg
Phosphorus - 250 mg
Iodine - 37.5 mcg
Magnesium - 120 mg
Zinc - 3.75 mg
Copper - .5 mg
Biotin - 75 mcg
Pantothenic Acid - 2.5 mg
Vitamin K - 60 mcg
Selenium - 17.5 mcg
Manganese - .5 mg
Chromium - 30 mcg
Molybdenum - 18.75 mcg
So there you go, now you can make up your mind about the program and at least now you have the facts to make a solid decision about it. Ultimately, I am happy with it, and if you disagree with it, that's okay, but don't judge me on it.
Until we reach our weight loss goals, we will be eating 4 meal replacements a day, drinking our 3 quarts of fluids, and eating our fruits and vegetables and the occasional lean protein if we are excercising enough, but nothing else...but this doesn't change who we are as people...in fact, we have more energy now...so maybe we will be more fun!
A lot of people question whether the program we are using is healthy or not. I would like to show you that it is perfectly healthy and in fact, we are probably getting more of the appropriate nutrients than most of the people in the US.
A brief description: Our diet consists of at leat 4 Meal Replacement packets a day (Nutritional Info Below), these can be in the form of shakes, or normal type foods, we can make muffins, pizza, chips, cake, cobbler, waffles, bread, even ice cream! It also consists of 5 servings of Fruits and vegetables (F/V) a day that total no more than 360 calories, but at least 160 calories. Our goal on any given day is to consume at least 800 calories (between the packets and the F/V) and 12 cups of fluid a day (8 of which are water and 4 can be non-caloric drinks, although if we drink caffeine, we need to add another glass of water to offset the dehydration factor). We should be eating around 1,000 calories a day, especially if we are excercising properly. We also are required to excercise every single day. We worked our way up to 60 minutes a day, by starting at 20 minutes and adding 10 each week.
This is a 20 week program that requires we attend a group meeting once a week (Tuesday's) and that we check in with our health coach at least once a week (via email or phone). If we meet our goals by the 20 week mark, then we can work back into a normal eating routine and excercise 3.5 hrs a week to maintain our weight loss, and continue to go to 'on-going' classes for support. If we don't meet our goals, then we can start the maintenance program (at no additional cost) and continue meeting once a week and following the program until we meet our goals. The class teaches us something new each week, ultimately working with us to get back into grocery store eating and off of the meal replacements. This will teach us how to continue to eat healthy and take care of ourselves, and to avoid regaining the weight. So far, we have learned about portion sizes and portion distortion. We have learned how to count/estimate calories by learning about how many calories basic foods have in them. This will especially help when at things like restaurants or potlucks. We have learned how to excercise, what is a good heart rate to burn fat and maintain it, how to stop having negative feelings about ourselves and start thinking more positively (man...that is hard!), how to deal with stress, versus just eating, etc....
My start weight was 225.8 lbs, my goal is to lose 90 lbs to get me to 135 lbs, but if I get to 150 lbs I would be happy with that! In 13 weeks I have lost 46.8 lbs. My husband has lost 76 lbs. This is a Rapid Weight Loss Program, though I don't think it's as rapid as Gastric Bypass, but we do have some of the same potential side effects, but only some, obviously, we could end up with sagging skin, but if I tone and lotion appropriately, I'm hoping to avoid a lot of that, we could have gall bladder problems, but it's rare, and typical things like the occasional diarreha or constipation if we don't have the right balance of fruits/vegetables...and of course....we pee ALOT! but I have found that the more I excercise, the less I have to pee and actually the more water I drink. This is a Medically Supervised program and we did meet with a doctor and had many tests done and if need to we can see that doctor anytime. We will see him at the end of the program again to see where we are :) At about week 7 I had my gall bladder removed. I apparently had a lot of stones, and I would have ended up with problems this year or next, but this program sped that process up. It's been hard still loosing weight while I felt sick and not well enough to excercise!
So, although this is a Rapid Weight Loss Program, and generally you shouldn't loose more than 2ish lbs a week if doing your own diet, we should average 2-4 lbs a week, this program is built to give you the nutrients and daily requirements of everything you need every day, something the normal dieter may or may not get...but my body is functioning normally and at a healthy level. I feel the best I have in years and have absolutely no regrets and feel good that when all is said and done, I can continue to keep the weight off!
Nutritional Info: (this is for a total of the 4 Meal Replacements a day)
Calories 640
Protein (grams) 60
Carbs (grams) 88
Essential Fat (g) 4
Fiber (g) 8
Sodium (mill) 1200
Potassium (mill) 2520
Calcium (milli) 1000
Magnesium (milli) 480
The following is per Meal Replacement Packet
Vitamin A - 1250 IU
Vitamin C - 15 mg
Calcium - 250 mg
Iron - 4.5 mg
Thiamin - .375 mg
Riboflavin - .425 mg
Niacin - 5 mg
Vitamin D - 100 IU
Vitamin E - 7.5 IU
Vitamin B6 - .5 mg
Folate - 100 mcg
Vitamin B12 - 1.5 mcg
Phosphorus - 250 mg
Iodine - 37.5 mcg
Magnesium - 120 mg
Zinc - 3.75 mg
Copper - .5 mg
Biotin - 75 mcg
Pantothenic Acid - 2.5 mg
Vitamin K - 60 mcg
Selenium - 17.5 mcg
Manganese - .5 mg
Chromium - 30 mcg
Molybdenum - 18.75 mcg
So there you go, now you can make up your mind about the program and at least now you have the facts to make a solid decision about it. Ultimately, I am happy with it, and if you disagree with it, that's okay, but don't judge me on it.
Until we reach our weight loss goals, we will be eating 4 meal replacements a day, drinking our 3 quarts of fluids, and eating our fruits and vegetables and the occasional lean protein if we are excercising enough, but nothing else...but this doesn't change who we are as people...in fact, we have more energy now...so maybe we will be more fun!
Body Fat....it shouldn't be used as a heater in the winter
"My name is Erica and I am a Foodaholic."
I don't remember my childhood (pre-puberty) very well, but from what I can see in all of my pictures, I was a skinny toothpick of a kid. So, How did I end up being 225.8 lbs by the time I was 30???
I started puberty, in reality in about the 3rd grade when I had to start wearing a bra, and then by 5th grade, I was getting chunky and got my first visit from every woman's most hated Aunt Flo.
It was also in 5th grade that I started having some blood sugar issues (hmmm...crazy hormones, weight gain, and blood sugar issues? Someone should have put me on a diet!) Every 3-4 hours in the 5th grade, I would eat. I was allowed some cheese and crackers and a juice box. Do you have any idea how much fat is in cheese and how much sugar is in a juice box?
5th grade was also the year I went from being "4 eyes" to "MOOOOO". This does some really bad things to the self esteem. I had one girl torture me so bad, she went to the extreme of looking in my ears one day to see if they were clean or not?! She was a bully!
Jr. High, wasn't any better, I gained more weight, I ate, a lot! I ate a lot of pre-packaged food, ice cream, cheese, pizza, bakery items, etc... I did play basketball, which should of helped, but I think it just helped me to maintain my fatness, since I stayed the same size through jr. high. I had some boyfriends, but girls were still mean and looked at me and snickered, especially in the locker room.
I tried other things, like not eating or throwing up what I ate, but it never became to much of a "problem" since I liked food to much to give it up or let it go to waste.
By the 9th grade, I played basketball and volleyball. This was the one time in my life that I lost weight and felt okay. I think I was around a size 12/14 then and people still called me fat. (Kids are so mean!) My sophmore year of high school consisted of my first long term boyfriend (who I'm ashamed to say was a drug addict and ended up being my frist husband). I played Volleyball for a while, but quit to spend "time" with him. I gained all of my weight back. I also started dressing like a "skater", you know, big baggy jeans, flat skateboard shoes (Skechers), flannel shirts over big t-shirts. This allowed me to gain a lot of weight and not even notice it! I maintained around a size 16 through high school and gained more weight my first year of college. I got the "Freshman 30"! From here I got married and pregnant.
I was 180 lbs when I got pregnant, wearing a size 16/18. I only gained 20 lbs while I was pregnant, but since my angel was born sick, I spent ALOT of time not trying to loose the baby weight and just sitting in her hospital room eating hospital cafeteria food. I gained probably about 20 lbs while she was alive. This brings me to 200 lbs!
I maintained pretty good at that point, and then I met the love of my life. He is a lover of food as well and an amazing cook! We ate good food often and alot of it. In early 2007, I decided I was too fat, and one day was going to marry this guy, so I should do something about it. I stopped drinking Mt. Dew...that's it, just that, I lost 27 lbs in 3 months, not doing anything else. I continued to try to eat better, but never excercised consistently. In July of 2007, we quit smoking...so naturally, I gained about 25 lbs! YIKES! Back to about 205 lbs!
We got married in November 2008, right before that, I had an IUD inserted (literally, on my rehearsal night...ugh that was a long day!) By January, I had gained 20 lbs...just from that stupid little device!
Ralph and I started our serious weight loss journey then! We started Weight Watchers. I lost about 27 lbs in like 6 months....then the holidays hit. I got off track and BAM all the weight came right back... I was now 225.8 lbs by December of 2009!
I was so ashamed of all my failures, we ate good healthy foods, I ate a lot of it, mostly bored eating, but sometimes I ate trying to "prepare" since I would get to eat much for like 6 hours, I would eat a lot, thinking it would last...I know now, that doesn't work, but I thought it did.
So...after my at least 20 year struggle with being overweight and teased and ashamed and embarrased and being told by my ex husband "your not attractive to me anymore, your fat and un sexy", and having the pregnant weight and no baby to show for it...it was time to do something serious and drastic! My next post will talk about what I have done and am doing about my weight now and how I feel about it :)
I don't remember my childhood (pre-puberty) very well, but from what I can see in all of my pictures, I was a skinny toothpick of a kid. So, How did I end up being 225.8 lbs by the time I was 30???
I started puberty, in reality in about the 3rd grade when I had to start wearing a bra, and then by 5th grade, I was getting chunky and got my first visit from every woman's most hated Aunt Flo.
It was also in 5th grade that I started having some blood sugar issues (hmmm...crazy hormones, weight gain, and blood sugar issues? Someone should have put me on a diet!) Every 3-4 hours in the 5th grade, I would eat. I was allowed some cheese and crackers and a juice box. Do you have any idea how much fat is in cheese and how much sugar is in a juice box?
5th grade was also the year I went from being "4 eyes" to "MOOOOO". This does some really bad things to the self esteem. I had one girl torture me so bad, she went to the extreme of looking in my ears one day to see if they were clean or not?! She was a bully!
Jr. High, wasn't any better, I gained more weight, I ate, a lot! I ate a lot of pre-packaged food, ice cream, cheese, pizza, bakery items, etc... I did play basketball, which should of helped, but I think it just helped me to maintain my fatness, since I stayed the same size through jr. high. I had some boyfriends, but girls were still mean and looked at me and snickered, especially in the locker room.
I tried other things, like not eating or throwing up what I ate, but it never became to much of a "problem" since I liked food to much to give it up or let it go to waste.
By the 9th grade, I played basketball and volleyball. This was the one time in my life that I lost weight and felt okay. I think I was around a size 12/14 then and people still called me fat. (Kids are so mean!) My sophmore year of high school consisted of my first long term boyfriend (who I'm ashamed to say was a drug addict and ended up being my frist husband). I played Volleyball for a while, but quit to spend "time" with him. I gained all of my weight back. I also started dressing like a "skater", you know, big baggy jeans, flat skateboard shoes (Skechers), flannel shirts over big t-shirts. This allowed me to gain a lot of weight and not even notice it! I maintained around a size 16 through high school and gained more weight my first year of college. I got the "Freshman 30"! From here I got married and pregnant.
I was 180 lbs when I got pregnant, wearing a size 16/18. I only gained 20 lbs while I was pregnant, but since my angel was born sick, I spent ALOT of time not trying to loose the baby weight and just sitting in her hospital room eating hospital cafeteria food. I gained probably about 20 lbs while she was alive. This brings me to 200 lbs!
I maintained pretty good at that point, and then I met the love of my life. He is a lover of food as well and an amazing cook! We ate good food often and alot of it. In early 2007, I decided I was too fat, and one day was going to marry this guy, so I should do something about it. I stopped drinking Mt. Dew...that's it, just that, I lost 27 lbs in 3 months, not doing anything else. I continued to try to eat better, but never excercised consistently. In July of 2007, we quit smoking...so naturally, I gained about 25 lbs! YIKES! Back to about 205 lbs!
We got married in November 2008, right before that, I had an IUD inserted (literally, on my rehearsal night...ugh that was a long day!) By January, I had gained 20 lbs...just from that stupid little device!
Ralph and I started our serious weight loss journey then! We started Weight Watchers. I lost about 27 lbs in like 6 months....then the holidays hit. I got off track and BAM all the weight came right back... I was now 225.8 lbs by December of 2009!
I was so ashamed of all my failures, we ate good healthy foods, I ate a lot of it, mostly bored eating, but sometimes I ate trying to "prepare" since I would get to eat much for like 6 hours, I would eat a lot, thinking it would last...I know now, that doesn't work, but I thought it did.
So...after my at least 20 year struggle with being overweight and teased and ashamed and embarrased and being told by my ex husband "your not attractive to me anymore, your fat and un sexy", and having the pregnant weight and no baby to show for it...it was time to do something serious and drastic! My next post will talk about what I have done and am doing about my weight now and how I feel about it :)
Wednesday, September 1, 2010
I'm an Editor! Well...not really.....
So a few weeks ago, my hubby had lunch with an old co-worker. She mentioned she was working on a book with her husband and was looking for people to read it and give input. My husband, being the amazing man he is, volunteered me saying "Erica loves to read and she is pretty fast". Both of which are true statments...too bad this summer has been so busy, it's taking me 10 times as long to read a book as usual! So, she dropped the not quite complete book off to me. I have to say, I LOVE it! I also love editing it (hmmm gonna have to see how hard it is to get into that market).
The book is called 'The Compound'. It's about a guy named Steve, who is, for lack of a better word, psycho. He had a crazy childhood, and was raised in this compound in the middle of backhill country Georgia by his government hating, god loving father and grandfather who taught him all sorts of crazy things. After an unfortunate accident with his wife and children, Steve is now trying to create the perfect family by kidnapping women that look like his wife and men that look like him. He keeps them in his compound and makes them act like married couples and get pregnant, with the hopes he will get kids that look like his. Steve sets his heart on a girl named Kate, and after a failed date with her, does nothing but obsess over capturing her to make her all his.
The book is not completed, I have through Chapter 36, and am just starting to read Chapter 26 now. I am very intrigued! It's a great story, it flows well, it keeps me interested and I'm going to just die while waiting to know the end of it! It's like I'm watching a great movie and the VCR eats the last 20 minutes of tape!
Congrats to my friends Lisa and Royce who wrote this amazing story! I just know you will get published and I am honored that you asked me to read it! I hope I'm in the Acknowledgements!
The book is called 'The Compound'. It's about a guy named Steve, who is, for lack of a better word, psycho. He had a crazy childhood, and was raised in this compound in the middle of backhill country Georgia by his government hating, god loving father and grandfather who taught him all sorts of crazy things. After an unfortunate accident with his wife and children, Steve is now trying to create the perfect family by kidnapping women that look like his wife and men that look like him. He keeps them in his compound and makes them act like married couples and get pregnant, with the hopes he will get kids that look like his. Steve sets his heart on a girl named Kate, and after a failed date with her, does nothing but obsess over capturing her to make her all his.
The book is not completed, I have through Chapter 36, and am just starting to read Chapter 26 now. I am very intrigued! It's a great story, it flows well, it keeps me interested and I'm going to just die while waiting to know the end of it! It's like I'm watching a great movie and the VCR eats the last 20 minutes of tape!
Congrats to my friends Lisa and Royce who wrote this amazing story! I just know you will get published and I am honored that you asked me to read it! I hope I'm in the Acknowledgements!
Faith
I grew up in the United Methodist Church in a small rural community in Northern Michigan. We lived a block from the church and I was there 4-5 times a week. I was active in Sunday School, Youth Group, a Puppet program, choir, and anything else I could squeeze in. I enjoyed my time there and the friends I made. I believed in God, mostly in a pretty generic way. I didn't necessarily act in ways that God wanted me to, but I was taught that my sins were forgiven and from my experience the UMC is a pretty laid back religion, you attend church and activities and no one really questions anything else.
My senior year of high school was the first year I started to question my faith. Two of my classmates were killed, one being a good friend of mine. I was devastated and couldn't understand why God would let such a thing happen. My mom asked my pastor to come talk to myself and a friend. This was a new pastor that had only been there for a month or two. Her answer to me was "I'm sorry for your loss, but it's god's will". Huh?! Really, that's all the counseling and advice you have for a teenager who is experiencing her first death experience, at least her first since she understood what death really was?! I was shocked, hurt, confused, and I never stepped foot in my childhood church again...at least not for about 4 years when I got married there. Anytime I tried, I would just cry, I was so confused about my faith, I didn't know what to believe, and didn't think I could find anyone to help me.
We left that rural community a year after this incident happened. After my family moved, we tried some other local church's, but never really felt welcome. No one approached us to welcome us, or find out who we were...so the whole family stopped going all together. That was about 10 years ago now. I have been to church, I attend church with my grandmother every Easter. I enjoy that time, but have never felt like I needed to try to go back to church regularly.
In 2002, I gave birth to a VERY sick little girl. This started my religious struggles all over again. Who would do such a thing to a precious little baby, who would put my (then) husband through something so terrible when his life has been nothing but bad things. This was suppose to finally be the one good thing in his life. We had her baptised by my childhood Pastor and family friend before her first surgery. I still wasn't sure of my beliefs, but I wasn't taking any chances. I spoke with my pastor, and also spoke to the hospital chaplain a lot. I also heard over and over again: "this is god's will" "he needs her for something better" "he has a reason for this" blah blah blah....all I heard was God is torturing your baby. The sicker she got, the more angry I became. When she died, I was, obviously, devasted. I heard all of these things over and over again, along with "becuase you didn't believe in god, she died" "because you baptised her as a sinless infant, she died". Of course, as the mother who carried her, who was responsible for her, I absolutely believed everything was my fault, I still do to a point, but I've had 8 years to figure things out in my head.
I still blame god for some of the things that happened to her, I blame her drug addicted father for other things, I blame myself for not standing up for her sooner, and I blame the doctors and hospital for not doing enough testing when I knew something was wrong with her.
It's time I move past that. I am remarried, to an absolutely amazing man, and we want to start our own family. This is my do-over that I think God handed to me. I believe God gave me Makayla to teach me compassion, never-ending love, and to teach me to learn self-respect, and to honestly "grow a pair". I am not the same woman I was when I got pregnant. Her father and I are both much happier where we are now and I do think God had a hand in that.
Now, it's time for me to find a new church family. I am still undecided about which church I would like to start attending, or even what my beliefs are completely. I believe in God, or at least the thought of a higher power, but I understand the "big bang theory" and believe that it absolutely is more likely we evolved than just spontaniously showed up on this planet. This is where my confusion lies. I am a realist, and it is very difficult to believe in something that I have never seen true evidence of. The closest thing I have is my story above.
So, my plans to find out where I stand with God are as follows:
Try out different religions: I'm curious and honestly very hesitant about religions that are "shouty and dancy" I grew up in the UMC, we sing and pray and listen, that's about it, other things scare me, but only because I don't understand them and honestly, am not sure I believe that the Holy Spirit can take your body over and have you start speaking in tongues. But the Pentacostals are a group I want to check out. I know many of them and they all seem very at peace with themselves and their relationship with god. This is the feeling I want. So, I will try some of the local Pentacostal church's and give them a fair chance.
I will also check out the local UMC's. We didn't find them pleasant 10 years ago, but I hear good things are happening at them, and a lot of things change in 10 years. It's what I know, what I'm confortable with, and what framed my morals and beliefs, I would love to attend a UMC again.
I also would like to try some of the Reformed church's, see how I feel about them.
What I want in the end is a church family that will help me through the healing process and help me reconnect with God. I want a group of people that will welcome me with open arms and offer programs or activities I can be a part of and feel like I am a part of. I want a church that I can raise my new child in, that will teach them good morals, teach them to have their own relationship with god, and hopefully instill in them what my church did for me so many years ago.
So, as I go on this journey of my faith, I will update this blog with my findings, thoughts and feelings. No worries, I'll still keep on with the complete random posts about my other life passions!
My senior year of high school was the first year I started to question my faith. Two of my classmates were killed, one being a good friend of mine. I was devastated and couldn't understand why God would let such a thing happen. My mom asked my pastor to come talk to myself and a friend. This was a new pastor that had only been there for a month or two. Her answer to me was "I'm sorry for your loss, but it's god's will". Huh?! Really, that's all the counseling and advice you have for a teenager who is experiencing her first death experience, at least her first since she understood what death really was?! I was shocked, hurt, confused, and I never stepped foot in my childhood church again...at least not for about 4 years when I got married there. Anytime I tried, I would just cry, I was so confused about my faith, I didn't know what to believe, and didn't think I could find anyone to help me.
We left that rural community a year after this incident happened. After my family moved, we tried some other local church's, but never really felt welcome. No one approached us to welcome us, or find out who we were...so the whole family stopped going all together. That was about 10 years ago now. I have been to church, I attend church with my grandmother every Easter. I enjoy that time, but have never felt like I needed to try to go back to church regularly.
In 2002, I gave birth to a VERY sick little girl. This started my religious struggles all over again. Who would do such a thing to a precious little baby, who would put my (then) husband through something so terrible when his life has been nothing but bad things. This was suppose to finally be the one good thing in his life. We had her baptised by my childhood Pastor and family friend before her first surgery. I still wasn't sure of my beliefs, but I wasn't taking any chances. I spoke with my pastor, and also spoke to the hospital chaplain a lot. I also heard over and over again: "this is god's will" "he needs her for something better" "he has a reason for this" blah blah blah....all I heard was God is torturing your baby. The sicker she got, the more angry I became. When she died, I was, obviously, devasted. I heard all of these things over and over again, along with "becuase you didn't believe in god, she died" "because you baptised her as a sinless infant, she died". Of course, as the mother who carried her, who was responsible for her, I absolutely believed everything was my fault, I still do to a point, but I've had 8 years to figure things out in my head.
I still blame god for some of the things that happened to her, I blame her drug addicted father for other things, I blame myself for not standing up for her sooner, and I blame the doctors and hospital for not doing enough testing when I knew something was wrong with her.
It's time I move past that. I am remarried, to an absolutely amazing man, and we want to start our own family. This is my do-over that I think God handed to me. I believe God gave me Makayla to teach me compassion, never-ending love, and to teach me to learn self-respect, and to honestly "grow a pair". I am not the same woman I was when I got pregnant. Her father and I are both much happier where we are now and I do think God had a hand in that.
Now, it's time for me to find a new church family. I am still undecided about which church I would like to start attending, or even what my beliefs are completely. I believe in God, or at least the thought of a higher power, but I understand the "big bang theory" and believe that it absolutely is more likely we evolved than just spontaniously showed up on this planet. This is where my confusion lies. I am a realist, and it is very difficult to believe in something that I have never seen true evidence of. The closest thing I have is my story above.
So, my plans to find out where I stand with God are as follows:
Try out different religions: I'm curious and honestly very hesitant about religions that are "shouty and dancy" I grew up in the UMC, we sing and pray and listen, that's about it, other things scare me, but only because I don't understand them and honestly, am not sure I believe that the Holy Spirit can take your body over and have you start speaking in tongues. But the Pentacostals are a group I want to check out. I know many of them and they all seem very at peace with themselves and their relationship with god. This is the feeling I want. So, I will try some of the local Pentacostal church's and give them a fair chance.
I will also check out the local UMC's. We didn't find them pleasant 10 years ago, but I hear good things are happening at them, and a lot of things change in 10 years. It's what I know, what I'm confortable with, and what framed my morals and beliefs, I would love to attend a UMC again.
I also would like to try some of the Reformed church's, see how I feel about them.
What I want in the end is a church family that will help me through the healing process and help me reconnect with God. I want a group of people that will welcome me with open arms and offer programs or activities I can be a part of and feel like I am a part of. I want a church that I can raise my new child in, that will teach them good morals, teach them to have their own relationship with god, and hopefully instill in them what my church did for me so many years ago.
So, as I go on this journey of my faith, I will update this blog with my findings, thoughts and feelings. No worries, I'll still keep on with the complete random posts about my other life passions!
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